2000 years later and after all social activism and rights movements and we still haven't caught up to how Jesus treated people.
No one changed history like Jesus did.
No one influenced history like Jesus did.
Years after his time on earth, and his influence is still strong.
Unlike other religions with have a geographical or ethnic center, Christianity doesn't. The geographic center of Christianity has changed multiple times over the years, and it transcends race, gender, and continents.
Unlike other religions which only offer advice and maybe a chance at making some God happy, Christianity gives us news, and that's that God loved us so much he sent his own son to earth to save us.
Christianity is nothing like other religions when you truly understand it. When you only look at the gospel, and not the legalism Culture has tried to make out of it, Christianity is radically different than everything else out there.
Christianity has stayed relevant throughout the years. The gospel and bible we use and study and apply to our lives today is the exact same gospel they had thousands of years ago.
All the hospitals, movements, libraries, schools, that were a direct cause by His followers.
Unlike other movements which died down after their leader died, His didn't. Because he came back. And because He's Jesus.
Jesus was the exact opposite of what everyone thought he would be.
Other kings were born, died, and were forgotten. Not this one.
Jesus loved and pursued and hunted the broken, and he loved them more than anyone ever did.
I mean, when I look over all this, it's almost as if he was God.
The more I read about him, the more I realize how true this is.
The gospel is at home in every culture and is at odds in every culture. Everyone is broken and in need of grace, and I fail daily, but because of Him, I also grow daily in my knowledge and understanding.
I think that to truly understand the gospel, you have to stop trying to put God in a box and let God be God.
God loves people, he kills people, and he pursues and hunts them. God is love, but God is also Just, which is why Jesus came. Jesus took on all our sin, he who knew no sin became sin, for me.
I mean, sure, you wonder why God couldn't just forgive everyone, but I want to say, why couldn't a judge just pardon everyone?
As the severity of the crime increases, my understanding grows. Sin is going to something else than God to satisfy us, and it is defying and saying "screw you, I do what I want" to the creator of the universe.
It's just...the whole gospel, the whole bible, is so beautiful because it meets us right where we are and leads us to a new life, we are born again.
Over the years, I've come to grow more in my understanding of the gospel, and as each year passes, I gain a new and deeper understanding.
I don't know why I'm posting this. Maybe because I've had this in my mind for a long time.
I just have been captivated by this love, and I want it to consume my life and dictate how I live, but right now at this point I'm stuck because I don't know how. Will I stay at my current job? Move somewhere else? Get a job in my major? I don't know. All I know is that I believe that whatever it is I end up doing in life, God wants me to do it for his glory, and that's what I hope to do.
/end

Update?

It's been quite awhile since my last update.

I really haven't been doing much, work has been going really great, I like the people I work with and I get along with everyone and everything there pretty well.

School is going so so, there's notmuch to say other than I'm still working on my classes and tests, pretty mundane for school.

I've also recently turned 18, so now I'm technically an adult, and that kinda feels weird......

I haven't felt really inspired to write or post anything on here lately, I went to a pretty awesome "conference" this summer that I really enjoyed.

I wish I had more to say, but I hoenstly don't. I'm updating so whoever reads this blog knows i'm not dead, but the only people who read this blog know otherwise because I talk to them. That didn't make sense.


Anyways, I'm still working on figuring out life and God's purpose for me  and I'm praying that I can figure it out sooner.

Josh

Life

I don't know, it just seems that life is a lot...weirder. Kinda like what I was posting about last semester, only worse.

There's so much talk of the future, and I can't comprehend it. My parents are talking to me about when I'm moving out, graduation for both college and High school, jobs, all sorts of stuff, but I can't get it through my head. My life is currently only being lived in the current week.

Honestly, my life is so crazy and stressful right now I don't know what to think. I have a job now, and it's really awesome because I love my job and everything at work is going fantastic.

Things other places are just crazy. My family is crazy stressed out about a ton of stuff, my grandma living with us, my dad and his job, and just, stress and life. So yeah, I've had a lot of that on my mind lately and it's just...difficult. Having a stressed out family isn't any fun, and graduating in a month doesn't help much.

I've also talked about communicating problems in the past...I don't quite know where I am with that now...I haven't noticed myself getting upset because of a missed opportunity or where I was ignored...now it seems like every time I say something It sounds incredibly stupid or I'm misunderstood. It's just that lately, every time I want to talk to one of my friends, or want to say something, whatever I say comes out incredibly stupid and just weird. I don't know.

In other news, I got in another car accident a few weeks ago and now I hate driving even more. I get so nervous at stop lights now it's not even funny...*sigh*

I don't really know what to say now, other than my last night of bible study was tonight and we ended our series on not wasting your life...We talked this semester about how important our faith is and why and how we should live it out and how important it is...Good stuff.

Right now I'm tired, and just, conflicted with everything in life now. So much going on. I haven't written anything on here in forever...i wonder if anyone still reads it?

jd\

Meaning

Tetelestai. It's what Jesus said before he died. It means "It is finished." The word "tetelestai" was also used to mean "Paid in full." So, when Jesus died, he was literally saying, "Paid in full." What was in paid in full? I think it's rather obvious.

Over the years, I've kinda grown in my understanding of Christianity, which I think is a good thing. I always knew that Jesus came to die for our sins, but over the years, I've really just started to understand how incredible that was. It's why my favorite song is "How he Loves".

It's just..so deep. When Jesus came down to save us from our sins, he did it at the cost of everything...Because of Jesus, we now are no longer bound by sin. We were dead in our sin, but he came to pay the price for it, hence, Tetelestai.

I always knew Jesus had to die on the cross, but it wasn't until recently I understood how horrible his death was...I've heard people say that his death was so brutal, that the passion of the Christ wasn't a graphic enough movie. Even then, when Jesus was anxious in the garden praying for another way, I'm not so sure the physical part of his death was what he was most anxious about. I think it might have been morose the mental part. By becoming the ultimate sacrifice, he was having all of the sins of humanity placed on him, and having his father turn his back on him. The only time Jesus didn't refer to God as his father was when he was on the cross saying, "My God, why have you forsaken me?"

I really don't think I can adequately explain how much I've come to understand it, nor can I say that I fully understand it. All it can really boil down to is myself thinking, "How could he love us so much to suffer through all that?" It's so very hard to explain....it's just...The depth of what he did, and everything that was meant by it, it's rather mind boggling and completely awe inspiring. I sat down to write this post in hopes of somehow explaining it more, but I realize now I can't do that. I really can''t. All I can really say is how He loves us...how he loves us.

On the topic of understanding Christianity more, I've found that so much more of the bible makes sense when read in context, and taking historical and original translation into account. We don't put meaning into the bible, we try to find what the authors meant, and find the meaning from that. There's a word for that, but I can't recall it right now.

Anyways, I'm not sure what this post is attempting to detail, other than I just got back from a pretty awesome youth retreat, where I learned about Abraham, and Faith.

I've been busy lately, but everything's been pretty good.

Jdg

Horrible...

I've had a horrible past few weeks.....

It seems like everyone I know doesn't like me and doesn't want me around...I've been really lonely...I just...it's so hard to explain...I've felt like a big failure at everything I do lately, and I don't know.

I don't really have any motivation to do school, because I seem to have lost focus on what I'm supposed to do beyond that...I guess...maybes it's because I can't see a point to completely school?

All I'm told is that life is going to get harder and harder...While that may be true...It doesn't make me want to complete my work any quicker...it just makes me want to delay it so that it doesn't get even more stressful....

I'm such a horrible person to everyone I know, and it doesn't surprise me that no one ever wants to be around me...Because I can seem to do anything right, no matter what it is.

Nothing I do ever comes out right....

I had a great weekend at a church retreat that really seemed to help me forget everything that I was stressing about, but It didn't, because as soon as I got back I was thrown into all of it....School....stress...so much of it.

I can't even say these past few weeks have been bad...Because apparently, it's only going to get worse....

It's just so hard to explain...This semester is really...just...different for me...At the beginning of the year, I was really focused, and determined to finish everything and I seemed to have more of a goal in mind....But now....I'm only living one week at a time so that I can finish this assignment, not so that Ican finish this class. I don't know, I guess when I got really into school and everything, I realized that it wasn't going to be like I thought, and I just...lost my purpose....

I know I'm supposed to trust God in all this, but why is that so difficult for me? Why is it so hard for me to put into practice what I know? I know a lot of things, but it just...Is so usless right now, I fail at putting what I know into action....I don't know why...It's senior year...and a lot of things have been confusing and making me stressed.......

Graduation....I don't even wanna think about it...It makes me too...stressed.....

This doesn't make any sense...I was trying to go to sleep...and thought I'd try to say this...I'm just...not...having...a...good...day....:(

Peace.

So it's 11PM. I've got about 20 math problems and then I'm done. I've done 50 already. I've got an enormous math test tomorrow, and I have no idea how I can do it. Normally, I'd be freaking out. But I'm not. And it feels weird. Really weird.

Normally I freak out. I was freaking out earlier because I had a government test. But not anymore. Heck, why AREN'T I freaking out? I've got a lot of stuff due by Friday, I've got 20 math problems to do before I can go to bed, I'm going to be starting my job soon, and driving and a lot of other stuff. Last night, I was extremely stressed about it all. But tonight, tonight is different. I'm not sure why.

Maybe it's because after all these blog posts about being stressed and not trusting in God have finally started taking effect? Maybe it's because tonight I'm trusting in God that everything will be okay and that he'll take me through it?

Earlier today I was listening to a sermon one of my pastors did about contentment. He was talking about how as Christians, we should be content. That no matter what's going on around us, we should be "I'm okay. I have God, and everything's okay." He said that the secret of contentment is realizing that "God loves me, and I'm okay."  Maybe that's what I'm doing tonight. I've been learning a lot lately through, a whole lot of areas in my life that I really need to trust in God and stop freaking out. Now, I'm never going to be completely perfect at that, but tonight, maybe tonight I'm doing just that.

 He also said that the most content people are the most discontent. As christians, we should put all our contentment in God. No matter what happens, as long as have God, we should be okay. I got a bad grade? I have God, I'm okay. I don't have a job? I'm okay. That's what a Christian should be like. Where does the discontent part come from? You give a christian all those things, Money, a job, friends, and anything else, but without God, we shouldn't be content with that. Once we have seen who Jesus is and how amazing he is, he is all that we should settle for. We can have all the things in this world, but without God, we should be discontent.

Wow. This is like, the most sense making thing I've ever written in a long time. What's wrong with me tonight?

Jdg

What is this?

 don't know. I really don't. I've felt very stressed and confused all day. I just don't know why! Or at least,  can't seem to explain it. A lot of stuff is going to be going on in my life.

I start two college classes this week, and I'll be fully into the new school year. It's my senior year, and I'm nervous. I'm doing this workbook where I have all these questions designed to make me think and discover gods purpose for my life. It's very deep and thought provoking, so it's something that's hard for me. I just don't know what to think. So much is going on in my life right and I don't know what to think of it all. I'm wondering what it is that God is going to have me do for his purpose. I'm worried about the workload I'm going to have. I'm upset that I still cannot communicate well, and that's just really driving me up the wall.

There are things I want to say, but I don't know how to say them. If I do say something, I worry about how it'll be perceived, and I continue to do so until someone tells me it was fine.

Don't I have anything uplifting to say? Besides just complaining about my stupid problems? I guess not. Looking over this post, it's really just a repeat of stuff I have said already. Sigh. Why?

I just want what I say to be meaningful. When I'm around friends, I want to be thought of as a serious person....or at least someone that can be serious....but it's hard...it's hard to be that way when saying the right words come so difficult to me.....it's doesn't help when I constantly worry about how the words I say will be perceived. It doesn't help that I feel like people will be mad at me or at least think lower of me because This is hard for me. I want to be a good friend.

It doesn't help at all. I know I'm supposed to pray about it, but I've always worried. I used to worry myself sick. Completely stopping worrying isn't something that's going to go away. Worrying is something I struggle with. Worrying is not trusting god. Worrying is a sin, and it's something I do too frequently. I need to trust god, and that's something I'll definitely be praying about it.

Perhaps I'm trying to do too many things at once. Is that it? I don't know. I have to be at church early, so I should probably stop this post. I appreciate all the people that read this blog, it means a lot.

Josh